You’ve Lived In Arizona If…
You no longer associate bridges or rivers with water.
You discover, in July it only takes two fingers to drive your car, because your steering wheel is so hot.
The best parking is determined by shade…..not distance.
You realize that “Valley Fever” isn’t a disco dance.
You can make sun tea instantly.
Hotter water comes from the cold water tap than the hot one.
It’s noon in July, kids are on summer vacation and yet all the streets are totally empty of both cars and people.
You burn your hand opening the car door.
You think a red light is merely a suggestion.
All of your out-of-state friends start to visit after October but clear out come the end of April.
You think 60 tons of crushed red rock makes a beautiful yard.
Your house is made of stucco and has a red clay tile roof.
Vehicles with open windows have the right-of-way in the summer.
People who have black cars or black upholstery in their car are automatically assumed to be from out of-state or nuts.
You know better than to get into a car with leather seats if you’re wearing shorts.
You know a swamp cooler is not a happy hour drink.
You take rain dances seriously.
When a rainy day puts you in a good mood.
When you drive two miles around a parking lot looking for a shady place
The temperature drops below 95 and you feel a bit chilly.
You would give anything to be able to splash cold water on your face.
You realize that asphalt has a liquid state.
…your chickens lay hard boiled eggs…
…you accidentally left a 12-pack of Coke in the car and later find the sticky stuff spattered all over the interior! (True story)
-your day doesn’t start until the sun goes down
- during summer theres a lot of ppl still at walmart shopping around 1am
When you know not to leave plastic on the dashboard. CD, DVD, Cassette and crayons.
Or a 12-pack of Coke! Learned that the hard way my very first day of living in AZ!
-When tire remnants are scattered all over the highway, you know the heat is back.
-When your pool is warmer than your bathtub.
-When an umbrella is used for shade not rain.
-When you reach for your seat belt, you handle it like a branding iron.
-When you leave town and realize you don’t own a proper coat.
-When you mow the lawn in the dark.
-When you water your rock yard with vegetation killer.
-When it rains and your wipers are hard as rocks and don’t work worth a crap.
-When carrying a comb on nature walks is recommended.
-When you know mirrors on cars are better SOS signals then their intended purpose.
-When summer time means sadly dressed men & women.
scantily dressed, darn spell check