Desert = Forbidden Area; So Why Do I Live Here?


Why Is It So Hot In Arizona?This is me getting into my car today:
“Uuuufffff (not a word, just a sound), goooodddd (cried out as a passionate prayer), oh my god (seriously calling for help), this is sick, I feel nauseated, I hate Arizona (complete honesty)!”
And it’s only April 22! This Arizona heat, well… there’s no pretty way to say it, “it sucks.”
Non-Arizonans make fun when we say “it’s a dry heat,” but they really don’t know just how true it is! You can actually leave the word ‘heat’ out of it and replace it with anything: “it’s a dry _______.” Because everything here in this desert is dry! Especially US. Our eyes are dry, our mouth is dry, our hair is dry, our skin is dry, and so on and so on and so on! The heat sucks every bit of moisture you have in your body out of you. This term is used to ‘soften the blow,’ as if comparing to Florida and incinuating that it’s not hot and humid. However, don’t be fooled – it’s misleading! It’s a bake oven, turned on 24×7.
This Arizona desert truly is for scorpions and cactus. It’s not for me that’s fo sho!
And you would think that from living here in the VALLEY OF THE SUN, that we would be sufficient on our vitamin D, but we’re not. Is that really a big surprise? We are not out in the sun. We cannot be in the sun more than a few minutes at a time, unless we want to die from heat stroke! Put on a hat, rub down with sun screen, load up with water bottles, I don’t care what extremes you go through to protect yourself, it doesn’t work. Unless you’re a scorpion you’re going to die here. And I DON’T WANT TO DIE HERE. God, we have to get OUT!
One time, years ago, my sister came out to visit me here in AZ. She’s very active and likes to walk each day, so I warned her about our “dry” HOT heat, and told her that you literally cannot walk to the mailbox and back without getting dehydrated, so to carry a water bottle or two at all times with her. She’s a back east girl and didn’t listen. Must be a D.C. thing…we don’t like to listen to others or take advice! When she returned from her walk, she was just short of delirious, or maybe she was. She said she saw Mother Mary and that she had a message for me. I can’t really remember what the message was, it’s been a few years (and now my brain is fried), it was probably to get the heck out of Arizona! But anyway, my sister went on to tell me that her mouth & eyes got so dry and how she began to panic from the heat. She thought she was going to die. Finally, just in the nick of time, she saw a little stream of water, from someone’s sprinkler system, and she got down on her hands & knees and started sucking up the water and dabbing it on her face! Uh, she should’ve listened to me, right? She’s never been the same after this incident! HAHA! I don’t think she’s coming back. She’s living in Myrtle Beach now, so why would she come here, even for a visit?
2012 has been an odd year already and we have not seen rain in 5 months. Now we are entering the ‘dry’ season, therefore there is no hope of any rain until late July. OMG! Anyone who thinks they may be spending eternity in HELL, may want to come here for a day (yes, it would only take a day) to come to realize you may want to rethink your life!
And since this is 2012, with December 21st only months away, if the Mayan calendar is right, then it’s time to go! Like I said, I do not want to die here! So Lee and I are thinking that we need to just pack & RUN for our lives….AND TAKE A CASE OF WATER WITH US!!!
When the day comes that Lee and I REALLY get out of here, I can tell you this…we will not be looking back, let alone ever coming back!

“Adios amigos and hasta la buh-bye.”
Mary Bortel

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One thought on “Desert = Forbidden Area; So Why Do I Live Here?

  1. No Arizona says:

    This was our first “guest speaker” on NoArizona! Thanks, Mary, for your insights into life in the Arizona desert!

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